* the road to roads (2001-2003)

Program notes and structure for the performance "the road to roads".

** Introduction

Some of our dreams have a narrative structure, but the setting, the
characters, and the conflicts in those narratives do not seem to make
sense to our usual conscious mind upon waking.  After thorough
analysis, we can claim to make some sense of some parts, but full
understanding forever eludes simple waking conscious thought.  It is
this sort of dream narrative that we seek to explore in "The Road to
Roads".

** The Settings

These stories are told around abstractions, and the setting is the
most abstract factor in the narrative. Interaction between characters
does not happen in a place that has chronological history or spacial
qualities, rather simply conceptual locality expressed in sound.

*** The Undercloud

As if concern for it's inhabitants was an afterthought to its
designer, the undercloud is thick with meaningless noises and
eternally ignored alarms.  It is the cloud of unknowing.  It is where
you go when you cease to be, or perhaps, what you pass through on your
being way.

*** The Principality

A rigid limbo, though brittle.  Cracks are leaks.  Crowded, but that
frog was boiled long ago.  Everyone speaks to the voices in their
head.  The magic words are "hurt hurt mediocrity".  Criminals here are
doomed to averageness.  Spectacular failure is also therefore success,
so long as fame results.

*** The Suspension

This is a network of eggs.  It is pure fertility, barely tainted with
the notion of a field.

** The Characters

Characters are primarily defined by their names.  Because, as in any
good story, characters change, the names of the characters change.

There are two main characters in "The Road to Roads", one is "Jack
Plug", the other is "Neil Iron".  These two never come in contact with
one another, but they encounter similar characters, and their stories
are meant to each shed light on the other.  There are two other
characters who are similarly opposite, "Elen" and "Lean Mary",
although it is not their story being told, they play most heavily in
the fates of Jack and Neil.  Jack and Neil never interact, but are
both connected by the communications of Elen and Mary.  All names are
pairs of four letters save for Elen, who is purely a link between two
other things and not those two other things at all, and therefore has
only one (in fact, her name is more rightly spelled "ln", so it
differs along stranger axes as well).

Jack Plug's name refers to the way audio equipment is connected.  By
virtue of his name, Jack contains the whole process of connection, and
it is by making connections that he attains victory.  He begins the
story in a state of amnesia, and is soon given eggs by Elen to
alleviate his suffering.  By devising a means to connect eggs, Jack
begins to recall his history.  Before he can uncover the truth, Lean
Mary takes the form of a dragon and attacks Jack's network.  Jack
defeats Mary in battle, and makes the final connections.  The result
is the night sky.  He remembers finally that "he was born under seven
crows".

Neil Iron refers to willpower.  Neil is capable of both complete
surrender and complete revolution, and it is by doing both that he
attains wisdom.  Neil begins the story perceiving himself as a slave
master with his consort Lean Mary.  He learns that he is in fact her
slave.  With this horror he sees through the game of slavery, swears
an oath to "doubt everything, including my own ability to doubt", and
plans for revolution.  Encountering a crocodile, he is stripped of all
his powers and transformed into a dragon.  Biting his own tail, he
severs his connection from Mary, who tries desperately but
unsuccessfully to reconnect.  Neil is now Cold Lung.  Adrift in the
Abyss for one Aeon, he is eventually caught in Elen's net, and
resuscitated by her.  He then turns into "Will Tell", and returns home
to free all those he once enslaved by publishing the story of Jack
Plug and Neil Iron.

Neil's name is Joycian.  Neil is "Kneel" as in surrender and/or "Nail"
as in semi-permanent mechanical connection.  "Nail" is also a slang
term for sex, connoting violence, indicating his position as slave
master.  "Iron" is taken as the name of a sturdy base metal, the
process of smoothing out, and/or some sort of heavy tool.  "Cold Iron"
is anti-magic, "Iron Lung" being the device that eventually
resuscitates him.  "Lung" also means dragon; a dragon biting it's own
tail is his form while passing through the Cement Abyss ("Basement").
"Cold" also gives the sense of that Aeon of stasis.  "Will Tell" is
tangent to "Neil" in the original name.  "Will Neil" signifies that
kneeling or nailing is now an act of will, or a more definite
possibility.  William Tell, is of course a mythological figure
possessing the ability to make great leaps of faith.  The "William
Tell Overture" is a very famous piece of music.  And, of course, Neil
"will tell" his story, as he is doing at the time of performance.

Elen and Lean Mary's names are somewhat Joycian as well.  "Lean" is a
corruption of "Elen".  Mary is "mar" or that corruption, but also the
sea; the chaotic terrain through which we need a path to travel.  By
leaning or being too lean, Lean Mary connotes a poor strategy.  In
Christianity, Mary is the mother of God, but not identified as God
herself (although on another level, we are all God's "children",
including Mary).  The only path through the water, which is Lean Mary,
is the night sky, which is Elen.  A path is a way through some chaotic
terrain that cannot otherwise be navigated.  To Qabalists and other
graph theorists, a path is actually a set of connections between
"sephiroth" ("spheres"), or nodes.  Elen is also "ln", the POSIX shell
command for creating a link.  In the symbol system of POSIX file
manipulation commands, a path could be taken as a partially or fully
qualified way to get to a directory of files.  There is less concern
with the start and end points, although those facts are fundamental,
but focus is instead on the process of getting from one to the other.
That process is the dream narrative itself.  Elen is both the means of
resolution of the conflict and the story itself; "The Road to Roads".

These names also reference other music, for example the King Crimson
recording "Neal and Jack and Me."

There are probably very many associations one can make between all of
these concepts that are not listed here.  It is the purpose of a dream
narrative to leave as fertile a field for such analysis as possible.

** The Conflicts

The story is divided up into two sets of three acts, among which there
is conceptual symmetry. The three parts of Jack's story are "Extend",
"Dialysis", and "Programmer". All parts of Jack's story are told from
Jack's present point of view, as if the listener were Jack talking to
himself. The three parts of Neil's story are "Adapt", "Respiration",
and "End User Super User". All parts of Neil's story are told to the
listener by an anonymous narrator who, at the end of the story, turns
out to be Neil himself. His story begins with the words "Once upon a
time,". There is meant to be only a partial order to the chronology of
all these acts. 

** Part I - Jack Plug

*** Act I - Extend

**** I do not Know.

In the first part, Jack Plug declares his existence and his amnesia,
questioning how he came to be.  His story begins with the words "I do
not know."  The words echo and distort, the overall sound fluxuating
between loudness and silence at the rate of ocean waves, indicating
something from nothing or washing up on the beach.

**** Do you mind?

Elen answers by giving him Eggs. 

The egg is a symbol of the soul. Further, it is cognate with our
self-image or "ego".  We have the following row of correspondences.

index = I = self = ego = egg = soul

The idea of the egg being made of diamond and being a node in a
network is meant to suggest the process of fertilization, and the
division of the Universe into parts for the sake of human
comprehension.

**** Qabalah

The network of diamond eggs apprehends the universe and reveals the
secret of "incrementing the soul". The lyrics this part are taken from
the following LISP expression.

(set i (increment i))

"i", here, is an abbreviation for "index", although if more than one
such variable is needed subsequent ones will be called "j", "k", etc..
The result of evaluating this expression is to make the variable "i"
have the value one more than it's present value. When computer
programs count like this, the traditional variable name is "i". A
computer may execute LISP like this millions of times in the course of
running a program. Of course when it is chanted in English, our native
english speaking brains parse the expression as "I set. I increment."
Both meanings are relevant to the experience of Jack at this point in
the story.

*** Act II - Dialysis

**** Analysis

Lean Mary appears as a dragon. Jack and Mary do battle, and Jack
emerges victorious.

The battlefield is "The Suspension", which is a network of eggs
started with eggs given to him by Elen.  Mary attempts to destroy the
network by eating it, but fails.

**** Synthesis

The eggs become diamonds as they are connected and then diamonds
become stars in the night sky -- Jack discovers that each reflects
every other, and so completes his great labor. "Becoming diamonds" is
expressed as a twelve tone row in three octaves, so that four notes
are in each register. Permutations of these are generated to
eventually arive at a major 7th chord in each register.

*** Act III - Programmer

In "Programmer", the third act, Jack regains his memory, proclaims the
truth that he saw in the night sky, and that he was born "under seven
crows".  Regaining his memory is symbolized by the word "Hello."

** Part II - Neil Iron

*** Act I - Adapt

**** Once Upon a Time

This is the first part of the story of Neil Iron, and therefore begins
"Once upon a time."

Neil Iron is the slave master of the Principality and his consort is
Lean Mary.  

IMPORTANT

If used properly, latex condoms will help to reduce the risk of
transmission of HIV infection (AIDS) and many other sexually
transmitted diseases, includeing clamydia, genital herpes, genital
warts, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, and syphilis.

DIRECTIONS FOR CONDOM USE:

BEFORE SEX

Use a new condom every time you have sex -- before foreplay, before
penis gets anywhere near any body opening (to avoid exposure to any
body fluid gthat can carry infection).  Handle condom gently.

Put condom on as soon as penis is hard.  Be sure hrolled-up ring is on
the outside.  And leave space at tip to hold semen when you come.

Squeeze tip gently so no air is trapped inside.  Hold tip while you
unroll condom ... all the way down to the hair.  If condom doesn't
unroll, it's on wrong.  Throw it away.  Start over with a new one.

AFTER SEX

Pull out slowly right after you come, while penis is still hard.  Hold
condom in place on penis to avoid spilling semen.  Turn and move
completely away before you let go of condom.  Dispose of used condom
properly, not in the toilet.  And no more sex without a new condom.
If condom breaks and semen spills or leaks, don't panic.  But quickly
wash sement away with soap and water.

WARNINGS

Caution: This Product Contains Natural Rubber Latex Which May Cause
Allergic Reactions.  This product also contains a lubricant and the
spermicide, Nonoxynol-9.  Some users are sensitive or allergic to
spermicide or lubricants.  If you or your partner have had any
reaction to latex rubber, spermicide or lubricants, do not use this
product.  If either partner has any reaction to this product, stop use
and see your doctor.

Never let a latex condom touch oil in any form -- no petroleum jelly,
no baby oil, no mineral oil, no vegetable oil -- oil rots rubber.
Avoid contact with talcum/baby powder because it may contain oil.

If you use condoms when you or your partner are using vaginal products
for medical treatment purposes, the condoms may be weakened and their
effectiveness may be reduced.

Foir additional lubrication, you may use personal lubricants designed
for use with condoms or other water based lubricants.

Wash hands -- as well as penis, vagina and surrounding areas -- before
and after sex.  This cuts the chance of infection.

Keep unused condoms in their packs in a cool, dry place (not in a
wallet).

If a new condom feels sticky or stiff or looks damaged in any way,
throw it out -- use a fresh one.

**** Shave

Neil learns that Lean Mary has been deceiving him, and that he too is
a slave.  He writes a letter to Lean Mary in which he leaves her.

Dear Lean Mary,

I {we} have discovered the {your} truth {lies}.  Last night, in an
effort to free myself, I {we} have {become} shaved the {disconnected}
hair {from} from {you} your head.  Tonight I {we} will go to meet the
Crocodile.  I {we} will give {empty} her everything.  Do not try to
stop me {us}.

I {we} know how much you {hated} loved {men} your hair, and how much
you {love} hate to be alone {to be alone}.  This {that} is of no
consequence.  What I {we} thought I {we} did out of love I {we} did
simply because you demanded it.  My {our} actions now are the last
necessary consequences of your commands.

We are {hereby} broken up {disconnected}.  I {we} do not want to talk
{at all} to you.  Do not call {at all}; I {we} will not answer.  I
{you} do not want to be with you {me}.

I {we} leave you {you} as you {you} have left me {us} {; with nothing.
Nothing at all.  Do not call.  Do not call at all.  Do not at all.
Nothing at all.

Sincerely,

Neil Iron.
}

**** Oath Breaker

Neil swears to reverse his ways.

Neil's Oath:

"I swear to break all oathes, including the one I am making now.
I swear to doubt everything, including my ability to doubt.
I swear to disobey all orders, including this order to disobey.
I swear to feed my self to the Crocodile, so that my liberation is complete."

*** Act II - Respirator

**** Reduced to Absurdity

Neil summons the Crocodile, who strips him of his powers.  

I am the Crocodile				I surrender
I take your ability to speak with birds		I surrender
I take your variety of wrenches			I surrender
I take your ships and your bridges		I surrender
I take your restaurant meals			I surrender
I take your puppet strings			I surrender
I take your teeth and bones			I surrender
I take your first rose kiss and every yes rose	I surrender
I take your x86 based instruction set		I surrender
I take your discounted collectible items	I surrender

**** Demonstration

Neil changes into a dragon ("Cold Lung") and enters the Undercloud.

**** Dereference

Mary attempts to reestablish contact, but he is lost to her and so she
is defeated.

Attention finger training bigots: construction of music of this sort
requires the skills defined by numbered items in this text.

1) Have deep connections to the internet.

A friend of mine, Evening, turned me on to a web site called
www.psychoexgirlfriend.com.  There was recently an unfortunate woman
whose only connection to a failing relationship was a voice mail box.
The owner of the voice mail box evidently felt the frequency with
which she called was excessive, and so in an act of revenge published
the audio on the internet in mp3 format.  The details of their
relationship remain unclear, and the ethics of the website are
obscure.  I listened to the material and decided to use it in one of
the audio peices I am presently working on.

Message 31 had been removed from the web site for some reason.  My
wife took a quick tour through Napster and retrieved it for me from
some anonymous soul with a cable modem.

2) Master sophisticated tools for manipulating digital audio signals.

After collecting all 53 messages on a zip disk, I took them to my
primary digital audio workstation.  

First, I copied the contents of the zip disk to my local hard drive.
The files were in MP3 format, a popular lossy audio compression
scheme.  The rest of my system all works with uncompressed digial
audio in a format similar to that of Compact Disc, so the first job
was converting the files.  I used at least twenty small programs in a
system called RedHat Linux to do this, most noteably one called
"mpg123" and another venerable beast called "sox".  Total conversion
time was about ten minutes.

Almost all modern telephone systems are monophonic, and after
conversion there was about 350 megabytes of data in fifty three files
to contend with.  That adds up to over an hour of source material!  To
edit and mix this material down to something that would fit the time
constraints of the rest of the project, I used what is probably the
world's most sophisticated batch-time sound file editing software:
"snd".

3) Understand the relationships between all source material.

I intend for "Lean Mary Dereferenced" to be part of a series in a
dream like narrative.  In this story, Lean Mary is symbolic of the
weaknesses of the protagonist.  The protagonist overcomes her by
breaking his link to her.  The metaphor of a broken hearted lover
leaving message after message for the one who will not call her back
says what I'm interested in saying.

This tragic hero is unfortunately not named Mark, so I immediately
decided all references to the name Mark must be edited out of the
source material.

Each of the files begins with the voice mail operator reading aloud
the time and date the message was left.  Some messages end with
instructions from the operator as well.  While it is true that when
playing back the fifty three files in sequence these operator
interjections punctuate the messages nicely, for some reason I decided
to remove them all.

After editing the first sixteen messages (listening to the poor woman
cry for several hours in the process) I determined that any reference
to anyone but "me", "you" or other suitably vague people should be
removed.  Also, any specific reference to any person or time should be
removed, and references more specific than "my job" go.  I went back
to the beginning and stared over.  These new editing rules give the
source material a very dream-like quality, which I feel helps to carry
my message.  Hearing specific dates, places, and names jars me out of
the trance I get into when I hear this woman for more than a few
minutes.  There were a few more subtle instances of this phenomena,
such as when she calls upon his decency "as a human being", which I
edited out.

It had also become clear after editing the first 16 messages that not
all of it would be used.  So, for the second round of editing, I
decided to pick and choose only certain files.  These wound up being
messages 53, 31, 17, 30, 16, 06, and 07, in that order.

I originally ran all of these messages together in one long monologue,
but it somehow wasn't working.  I eventually decided to extract a
short beep from one of the more sloppily edited of the original 53
messages, and to use that to separate each of the messages.  The whole
piece ends with Lean Mary accepting her fate, and saying good-bye.

*** Act III - End User Super User

In the first part, Elen appears as a Sphinx to Cold Lung.  She
presents him with three riddles.  Neil answers all correctly.

"I give you one answer. What is it?"		"Paradox."
"I give you one command.  What is it?"		"Disobey."
"I give you one wish.  What is it?"		"Endless wishes."

In the second part, he is reborn into the neighborhood as "Will Tell".
He returns to publish his story and so liberate those he once
enslaved.

To be read by Neil after it is revealed that he is the narrator of his
own story:

Our minds are nothing more, and nothing less, than an interconnection
of inumerable other minds.  Each mind has its influence.  No mind has
control.  In this way, each mind is a reflection of the entire
Universe.  From analysis to synthesis; as it is above us, so it is
below us.